If you can control your dreams, can you influence your dreams to include certain people? With the right practice and the appropriate dream inducement, you could be speaking to people you haven’t seen in awhile, famous historical figures, stars and entertainers, and even heads of state. I know I wouldn’t mind having a little one one one with Obama right now. (Can you tell me what you are really trying to accomplish with your medical program because I’m getting a little confused!?).
In fact, talking to specific individuals is one reason why people want to learn to control their dreams.
It’s important to remember, though, that talking to a specific person in your dreams is not like you were really talking to them. I mean, if your Aunt Alice passed away ten years ago and you want to ask her why she didn’t tell anyone where her custom made wedding ring was kept, you aren’t likely to get an answer in your dream. Your dreams will only include pieces of information you really know – pieces of information already stored in your brain. You aren’t really talking to dear Aunt Alice – you’d be talking to your memories or impersonation of Aunt Alice.
That doesn’t mean that talking to the people you want to talk to again isn’t worthwhile. As I’ve mentioned, there is a lot of information stored in your brain that you’ve simply forgot how to access. All of those childhood memories – even what happened last week – can get covered up with more recent memories and information.
It can be extremely cathartic to talk to your loved ones in your dreams.
I was 9 1/2 when my maternal grandmother passed away. I loved her to pieces. She introduced me to Benji (anyone remember Benji the dog?) and Animal Kingdom. She loved animals, wrote snippets of poetry, and a great laugh. When she died, my brothers and sister and I did not go to her funeral. I don’t know that at that age I would have understood what it would mean to miss her funeral and I was probably very glad at the time not to have to go – I was sad enough, as it was. However, years later I had dream about my grandmother that I’ve never forgotten.
I was maybe 13 at the time. In my dream, I went to the mall by our house and found a little cave with a small wooden door tucked away along one of the side hallways of the mall. I don’t know what led me to the hallway or the door of the cave nor why I wasn’t afraid to go in, but I wasn’t afraid at all. Inside, I found my grandmother snug and comfortable in a little home she’d made for herself. She looked as if she’d been expecting me and a pot of tea was brewing on her small stove. She pulled out a chair and poured me a cup and there we sat and talked for what felt like hours.
I had a chance to hug her, to tell her how much I missed her, and to learn that she was doing fine (she told me). When I woke up, I felt so much closer to my grandmother. I felt as if I’d finally had my chance to say goodbye while also having opened up a new way to talk to her.
I know I wasn’t really talking to her, although for many more years I would believe that was the case (I was a teenager – we’ll believe all kinds of things at that age that get shaken out along the way to becoming a responsible adult with children of our own). I do still, though, believe that any time I’m missing her, I can just go visit her in the place I last saw her. I can talk to her in my dreams.
How to Call Certain People in Your Dreams
Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as laying down to sleep at night and saying “Gees, I’d like to talk to grandma tonight.” Do you know how many dreams you have that you don’t even remember having? According to the Psychology department at UC Santa Cruz, adults have anywhere from 4-6 dreams a night. Do you remember 4-6 dreams every morning? I know you don’t!
If you want to talk to someone particular, you need to work on a couple of skills. First, you need to have really strong dream recall. Many of us remember an occasional dream or two every month but you can increase your dream recall by writing down what you remember each morning.
Next, you want to gain the ability to dream lucidly so that you are aware you are dreaming. This leads to the ability to influence what happens in your dreams.
And, finally, in order to dream about a specific person, you need to induce that dream with memories that will put your mind in tune with dreaming about that person:
- look at their picture before bed
- play their favorite music while you sleep
- write stories about your time with that person or your knowledge of that person right before going to sleep
- watch videos of that person while you fall asleep, if you have any available
If you influence your dreams to include certain people, have a plan for what you want to accomplish in the dream. Do you want to spend the time talking, is there something you want to learn from them, do you want to know the answer to some deep question? You might not get the answers you expect, but you may find bits of buried information in your brain that are worth dragging up and out of the dark attic in which we store some incredibly valuable insights.